If an autistic child is masking, it’s important to balance support in ways that protect their well-being while helping them navigate social environments. Some children may mask to fit in, while others may do so due to pressure from adults or peers. Here’s how you can support them effectively:
1. Understand Why They Mask
· Observe when and where they mask – at school, with peers, or in unfamiliar settings
· Ask (if they can express it) how masking makes them feel – safe, exhausted, or anxious
· Recognise if they’re masking to avoid negative consequences (e.g. bullying, discipline)
2. Provide Safe Spaces to Unmask
· Create environments (home, close friendships, specific classes) where they feel accepted as they are
· Encourage stimming, alternative communication, or breaks without judgement
· Let them know they don’t always have to “perform” or “act normal”
3. Teach Flexible Social Skills, Not Forced Conformity
· Instead of pushing eye contact or specific behaviours, teach ways to interact that feel natural to them
· Offer social scripts for situations where they feel uncertain, but will allow them to adapt as needed
· Encourage friendships with peers who accept them without requiring constant masking
4. Support Their Emotional & Sensory Needs
· Recognise signs of burnout or stress from prolonged masking (meltdowns, exhaustion, shutdowns)
· Offer sensory tools (fidget toys, quiet spaces, noise-cancelling headphones) to reduce overwhelm
· Validate their feelings and help them decompress after social situations
5. Let Them Set The Pace
· Some children may want to mask in certain situations and unmask in others – respect their choices
· Empower them with self-awareness so they can recognise when masking is helpful versus harmful
· Celebrate their unique traits and help them build confidence in who they are
By creating an environment where your child feels supported and understood, and helping them develop tools to manage the pressures of masking, you can reduce the emotional strain and help them thrive.
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